Whisk me away to a secret world...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

It's a unanimous vote.

I have to admit, I'm quite at a loss. How can everyone else be wrong, and my own judgment correct? I wonder where that fount of trust and hope is coming from, because my conscious mind is struggling with coming to terms with it. Perhaps you aren't having such a terrible time as I am. After all, they say that when things like that happen, "He's just not that into you"...

For 30 minutes, I actually tried listing out my rationale for convincing myself. But you know what? Perhaps it isn't necessary. Deep in my heart, I know that you still care, but not enough. Enough to call me from time to time when you're free and drill me on my whereabouts and expect me to reply meekly, but not enough to see me.

I should know that this is all that it amounts to. A half-hearted attempt, a stab in the dark, heck, a needle in the hay stack. You would have called if you were interested, and there shouldn't have to be such a problem meeting up if you really wanted to. Oh, of course I could come up with a thousand excuses. But the key is actually this: you'd have done it if you were interested. So I guess you were right, I didn't understand the term "not free".

Put in other words, that was my cue that you wanted something that you don't want to work hard for. You were free for everything, everyone, but not enough to set a time and date to meet me. Why that was so, I've no idea. One cannot expect to gain from something that you don't put in effort for, so letting me slip from your fingers was your fault. Don't try to pin it on me, because I re-read my logic and found no flaws, no "I could have done better if"s.

The unanimous vote? Every one of my friends, regardless whether they know you or not, had expressed disfavour of this situation. But the one that opened my mind to the fact was..

1 Comments:

  • At 6:20 am, Blogger Unknown said…

    Somehow scary how it still fits, though some 11 years later.....

     

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