Chi Xin Jue Dui

It feels foreign to write these days. But yet it's difficult not to feel something with the song on repeat in the background.

I've lost you. Utterly, completely, finally. Though it has been circling round my head for some time now, to write to you before I leave, I think it's better to leave things as they are. Of course I wished that we could talk, you could hold me in your arms, but what good would that do? I tell myself you know when I leave, you know how to contact me. If you wanted to see me, you'd call.

"I lead a very busy life... if you can't understand that, sorry, I can't help you." It's beyond my comprehension how someone can say something so hurtful again and again. That's when I couldn't come up with any more excuses for your action. Because you'd never do that to someone whom you love, no matter how miserable you feel. After all, that's the premise of love, isn't it? To be able to put someone before yourself.

That's about it. I'm done with writing, with communicating, with a life with me and you in it. I still don't understand why you want to throw us away. Perhaps I never will, but it doesn't bug me as much as it used to. Somehow I can't remember anything about you anymore. It's not that I don't want to, but I just can't, anymore...